rudolph

santa was having problems with rudolph. he had shoved so much fucking snorty nose gunk up his hooter that his red red noselight by which santa could steer was shooting its beams in all the wrong directions. the holes from his nose had warped out to the size of a manhole and looked like a faggots giant lobeplug or else a a smoothed rock balanced on a flat pizza tongue. santa had to get hit shit together. in spite of his enormous piston-steel enterprise he still could not correctly fill out a budgeting form due to his collapsible fingertips and thus could not purchase a desperately sought out maglite or high intensity torch for guiding his sleigh full of homeless children and rudolph the ring-nosed reindood. so he sparked up a brite idea for making and hatching his new plan to change the state of the way things had been before since and after his plan to have a brite idea and sort out his affairs for the better in a better and for better way. he undressed rudolplh from his double breest sskin suit and flattened him out over a garbage can in order better to inspect him rudolph. and what did he find that rudolph had a haemohorrodi twice the strength of brightness and size of his nose that could illimnuate all of twinkseltown for santa and help him to get presents to people fast. that's what was most important about his plan was to get presents to people fast. fast presents and faster people. every year a faster present and a person who receives it hastily. he cut off rudolphs legs and stuck him with nails arsefirst off the fdront of his ship so that the haemodrofis painful red light would take out the darkness and make him safe agfain